The following is a tribute to Binyavanga Wainaina, written for his memorial service in Nairobi, which was held on 30 May 2019.
I think of first encounters
A word a glance a recognition
This here is where we make our family
Of conversation that leaps with alacrity
To the beating heart of a matter
Of ideas that begin as declaration
And – over time and distance
Whirlwind into a reality that births continental rift
I have an idea
What if we
Why don’t we
You have to
This is how
I think of the conjuring of maelstrom
It’s now early that next morning and still
Shapes are being drawn in widening concentrics
And triangulations that will leave no one behind
As long as they can imagine fast and furious to that finish line
That only you can yet see
This is how
We could
You have to
If we do this we will
I think of you, Binyavanga
Resplendent in electric coloured kaftan
Rainbow bleached hair
Manfully standing to my defence as your skirts swirled & your voice bellowed
That this one here is our own and I demand that you take more care
I think of an early Nairobi dawn taxi ride
Far out of your way to see me safely home
I think of a London doorstep & a woman
Who stopped in the street to take your hand
To say thank you, you saw me & I felt your gaze
And I heard you call out our name
I think of late evenings under skies at home and abroad
When you gathered us all together
This here is where we find family
Here, talk to this one and see what you will do
Here, go find this one and she will take the next steps with you
Here, bring these ones together and you will see what will happen
I have an idea
What if we
Why don’t we
This is how
I think of you calling me aside
Leaning over to whisper
What if I give this talk in my pink tutu
I really want to wear that skirt
And of shy delight and a twirl
Bare legs and golden shoes
And a challenge delivered to the capacity crowd
To do more and to do better and to be bolder and
To do all this together
What we need is
This is how
We could
I think of last attempts at conversation
When words, once our powerful arsenal, are now so hard to weave together
A loss incremental and relentless
We – those you once collected to yourself and guided to each other – find we are already beginning to gather the memory of you in anticipation
This is where we found family
And as I receive the news that you are departed
This palace of memories of a brother who dared me
To fly just that much closer to catch the heat of the sun
Cascades and overwhelms
How do we
What should we
If we do it together could we
I think of a journey that snatches you
To be with those who have come before
The mothers and fathers who gave us being
The companions who departed along the way
The ancestors who sing your name in welcome and say come
From this place we will be together and watch over
And we will see what they will do.
Ellah Wakatama Allfrey
Devon, May 2019
Image courtesy of Ellah Wakatama Allfrey. Angela Wachuka, Binyavanga Wainaina and Ellah Wakatama Allfrey at a Kwani celebration in Nairobi, 2012.
