My collection of stones
kept carefully wrapped
in a Clarks shoebox
under the stairs a dozen
different coloured gems
pink green lilac all
mine not yours but I
let you hold them even
my favourite rose quartz
which you said you’d
seen before me though
only after you lost it
You came to me as three
white lakes each whiter
than the other this is how
my mind goes when
I look at the sky
I call the captain
tall my face and lie down
by the water brother
you know I know
nothing
One day we saw a man singing
outside his front door
No said Mum
he doesn’t live there that’s where
his mum lived when she was alive
that’s why he’s singing there
Every poem is another
poem that didn’t make it
that in trying to write
the liquid crystal of my
eye shut out
behind whose silence
crackles the poem
I could be writing
which in writing takes
the place of you
I liked the mist
but we agreed it
was a bad day
for a beach trip
all the windows
rolled down low
small droplets
of ice in her eyes
Our snapped-off shadows
made a simple shape
one within the other like
a folded napkin and you
talked to me in your real
voice I wanted to make
the dust just no I couldn’t
couldn’t see us all there
eating instant noodles
sitting in front of the tv
You said cemeteries were like
funfairs without the candyfloss
Some days I’d go there to watch
the milk plume in my tea
When the sun shone my tummy
rumbled
I was searching for
your name among the tombs
On the wrong side of the glass
the doors slid shut
and off you went
I never cried
but that day
my round face white with fear
mirrored yours
you ran back to find me
sitting on the shoulders
of a tall white man
and I cried at the sight
Brother it was last week but
I’m five
we read the sky for
signals rose quartz means rain
at night but never avoiding
rough seas we yes we
lead ourselves to the jetty
hand in hand empty as a weeto
boats like rabid ski dogs
shhhhhhh we can’t be out
this late
but you yes you
are setting sail by this point
only you
He looked down with such
sadness he couldn’t bring
himself to call out to a
member of the crew it was
too overwhelming to be
helped and too simple
to bear it was the thought
that finally struck him as
he looked up at the captain
and with great sadness
looked back at his brother
still unable to see it
Photograph courtesy of the author
