A hot pocket in every Chernobyl, a pig in every inbox. I’m announcing early that I’m running for the top spot. I’m building a beautiful mall. You will receive daily updates on our campaign, complimentary tickets to our rallies, a chance to win free hotdogs for your family.
My voice may grate your nerves again. The electoral system is broken, but I can fix the race. My critics are enemies of the people. I can handle those losers. Fortunately, I consider you a friend. I’m already counting your vote. One thing you can say for me, I deliver the pork.
Image © Hannes Johnson
