Hitler has only got one ball!
Goering has two, but very small,
Himmler has something similar,
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.
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‘The court martial was held in secret, because it concerned the security of the state.’
Hitler has only got one ball!
Goering has two, but very small,
Himmler has something similar,
But poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.
Sign in to Granta.com.
‘I think there should be a National Service of Hospitality. The best way to see the true face of humanity is to serve it a plate of chips.’
Camilla Grudova on bad-mannered customers.
‘Anyone who has ever worked night shifts will understand the vertiginous feeling that comes with staring down the day from the wrong end.’
A.K. Blakemore on working nights.
‘I was constantly reading job ads, trying to find my holy grail – a job I could stand to do, and someone foolish enough to hire me.’
Sandra Newman on learning how to play professional blackjack.
‘I loved being a receptionist. What I loved about it was playing the part of being a receptionist.’
Emily Berry on being a temporary office worker.
‘Every part of you would swell, including your eyeballs, and no matter how much water you drank, you were always dehydrated.’
Junot Díaz on working for a steel mill.
John Sweeney wrote for the Observer for more than a decade. He now works on the BBC’s Panorama programme.
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‘A cold star breeze, you pass through my eyelashes.’
A poem by Ekhmetjan Osman translated by Joshua L. Freeman.
‘I might walk endlessly’
A poem by Tahir Hamut Izgil, translated by Joshua L. Freeman.
‘My voice may grate your nerves again.’
A poem by Harryette Mullen.
‘Your friends might never know you intimately. There are those that will know you intimately but never be your friend.’
Jia Pingwa on friendship.
‘I promise you, the committee only looks at two things: how feasible a proposal is, and what it could actually do for the environment.’
A bureaucrat and an entrepreneur discuss environment-saving proposals in a short play by Si’an Chen, translated by Jeremy Tiang.
‘This issue of Granta collects writing headed full tilt in the opposite direction from the literary lassitude of the land.’
The editor introduces the issue.
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