‘It comes as no surprise when an ophthalmist informs him that the tears he does produce–the consequence of various allergies–are deficient, poor-quality facsimiles of the real thing.’
The facts of life. He learns them at Bournemouth, in the following order. (1) The body is a fragile thing. His brother, not yet four, trips over a beach ball and snaps his leg. He is in hospital for three months, while the fractured limb heals. (2) Life can be short. A pair of fledgling blue tits ho…
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‘I think there should be a National Service of Hospitality. The best way to see the true face of humanity is to serve it a plate of chips.’
Camilla Grudova on bad-mannered customers.
‘Anyone who has ever worked night shifts will understand the vertiginous feeling that comes with staring down the day from the wrong end.’
A.K. Blakemore on working nights.
‘I was constantly reading job ads, trying to find my holy grail – a job I could stand to do, and someone foolish enough to hire me.’
Sandra Newman on learning how to play professional blackjack.
‘I loved being a receptionist. What I loved about it was playing the part of being a receptionist.’
Emily Berry on being a temporary office worker.
‘Every part of you would swell, including your eyeballs, and no matter how much water you drank, you were always dehydrated.’
Junot Díaz on working for a steel mill.
‘It is Friday, and I am at the airport waving a little flag, a one-man welcoming committee.’
'My nubile companion, assuredly no intellectual, continued to masturbate in front of me.'
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‘Think of mitosis as trillions of slightly near-sighted, plagiarizing students’
