I’ve always believed that the only constant in life is change. If we don’t embrace change, we fail to grow. Even worse, we put ourselves at risk. We lose the capacity to change when change is forced upon us. I resolved long ago I’d never again be afraid of change. And that is why I am here today.

That was my opening statement. It was what I believed then and it’s what I believe now. Perhaps even more so. I sat back down in the sharing circle to the sound of clicking fingers, a sound others might call snapping.

Thank you, said Hanno, our facilitator. That was so brave.

Yes, said the man beside me, so brave. He leaned over and whispered in my ear. Can I ask you something? Can I ask for your consent to touch you on the knee? I just want to express, physically, how much I admire what you said.

I said no, but politely. I don’t generally enjoy being touched by strangers, and while this was also something I wanted to change, I’ve learned to be kind to myself and not to push myself too hard in situations that make me uncomfortable.

When the final round of clicking and/or snapping died down, Hanno walked into the centre of the sharing circle.

With these incredible acts of vulnerability the first part of our opening ceremony has come to an end. Now, in order to embrace the community that has gathered here today, I am going to ask you to form what we call family groups. These will be groups of people who come together because they are arriving here with particularly important shared experiences. Your family group will be a space to which you can return for safe reflection, at any time, over the course of our journey together. So now, please stand up and begin to move through the room, connecting with those you see around you.

I am not a very sociable person. I have a small number of close friends who provide me with the emotional support I need. With them I am extremely affectionate and relaxed. They have often called me things like playful, silly, or boyish. I rarely work well in social situations with people I don’t know.

I stood up and looked around the room, a converted barn, the walls painted white. I counted maybe forty people drifting across the wooden floor, forming small groups and clusters.

Eventually Hanno approached me. Ben, he said, glancing at the name badge I was wearing, my role as facilitator is to enable you to get the most out of your time here. So I was wondering whether you might be open to forming a family group with some beautiful people I have just met: Omar and Kemal. I think you three might have a lot in common. 

These people seemed nice and I quickly agreed we could form a family group so I could return to my room for a rest. What I call my social battery gets very depleted by talking to strangers. The on-site accommodation was located in a renovated farmhouse close to the barn, a communal dorm with rows of bunk beds, but I had chosen to stay in my own room in a guest house a short walk up the road. I always like to sleep alone, in darkness and in silence. I like to have a space where I can go to recharge. The first day had come to an end and I wanted to be prepared for what I had decided lay ahead of me.